here’s the deal. I have always been a very healthy gal. growing up, the worst I was ever inflicted with was the occasional cold.
enter motherhood……after Zoe, I suffered the occasional bout of heartburn and indegestion. then after Zachary, same heartburn and indegestion. Then there was Zander. heartburn, indigestion, dysmenorrhoea and then my lungs went and decided, without any consideration for me, that they were going to simply just forget how they are supposed to function!
here’s the thing. I’ve never given my own breathing a second thought. it’s something you do on a daily basis and you think nothing of it, right? ask this same question to an asthmatic.
during an attack, even just a mild one, you think of nothing but your breathing. for example, why on earth am I wasting all this time bringing air into my lungs, when they aren’t bothering to do what they’re supposed to with it??? why on earth can’t I just take in a breath and keep it where it belongs?!!!
my middle child, Zachary was diagnosed with asthma when he was around 2. I felt for him and stood by him, lovingly, through every attack, hugging him and telling him over and over, “don’t be scared, it’s okay.” “it’s gonna be alright.” “calm down.”these were all things I said blindly!
I had no idea what he was going through. he could never communicate with me how he was feeling, he would just lie there, completely helpless and cry to me, as he gasped for more air, to no avail.
now that I have gone through this, myself, its all different. I know exactly what he’s going through. now, when I try to comfort him, my heart rate is raised and I begin to mimic his breathing. my pulse begins to rise and I find myself only making the situation worse.
asthma is scary. oh my gosh, is it scary! I hate it and I know my baby boy hates it. it stirs in you horrible images of running out of air and just dropping dead. amidst an attack, you cannot think logically, you think fearfully, defensively. I would take childbirth, in a heartbeat, over an asthma attack! and that’s no lie.
I wish I knew how long his asthma will hang on. floating over him, through his entire childhood, like a black cloud? I hope not. I know of a handful of people who suffered from it, as a child and who have, since, grown out of it.
let’s hope.
then you have the percentage of people who, like me, developed it as an adult. oh, goodie! for me? gee, thanks. thanks alot.
this has all just made me determined to keep myself and my family healthy. I drag my three little ones, along with my reluctant husband, out of the house for daily walks. we go on my husbands lunch break and many times, I drag them all out again at the end of the day.
I am so looking forward to the time when we will all have perfect bodies and the effects of sin will all be done away with!
until then, I’ll just have to settle for my imperfect set of retarded lungs.