last week, we took Zoe into orientation for kindergarten. those of you who read my blog know how hard this has all been for me.
the second we entered the classroom, my heart dropped to the floor.
I didn’t want my baby girl to see how hard this was for me.
but it was.
very hard.
I had to collect myself and be the strong one. there have so often been times when she was the strong one, while I just lie there, like a puddle of mush, she tells me she’s fine and everything will be okay.

my tower.
my girl.

I don’t know how she does it, but she does.
and that’s all that matters.

I love her for it.
and I admire her for it.
but there’s also times, I just can’t stand it!

let me be your tower.
look up to me.
you need me, dang it!

then I remind myself.
this is who she is, who she has become.
this person, this girl, this growing little woman.

I know when I look back, after she’s all grown up, I will be so thankful for the things that drive me loopy now.
things I think I hate so much.
they will all melt away at the sight of my grown up girl.

my tower.

as we sat down at our wee little desks and the teacher introduced herself, I got excited.
I remembered how much I loved school!
how excited I was to get back to school the next day.
to explore new things, have new adventures, make new friends.

and I just
let
go.
this is for her.
I have no right to be so selfish.
it’s hers.
all hers.

and so this is how it’s gonna be?
from here on out.

untie those strings, mama.
and let her loose.

and be there for her
through anything
and everything.

the real world.