after giving all three of the kids their communion bath, I wrapped them up like little cocoons in their bath towels. sent them out to the living room and went to get eczema boy’s Zach’s tube of lube for his lovely sand paper skin.
I began to lube up Zach quickly, so as to seal in the moisture from his bath. (per doctor’s instructions)
in other words, everything else post-bath must be momentarily placed on hold until I get “Roughy Mc Dry Skin” all covered in a lovely thin coating of ooey-gooey glob, so as to seal in the skin’s (afore mentioned) natural moisture.
while induced in this exciting bathtime ritual, I suddenly hear the sound of a thin stream of liquid hitting the carpet fibers!

I look over and there stands Zander, PEEING on my living room floor!
yes, that’s right, my sweet little boy is using my coffee table as a urinal and spraying through the bottom slats like cones on an obstacle course.
if whizzing were an Olympic sport, my boys would place Gold! not only for distance, but for endurance and most impressive, speed!
I no-sooner turn my head and they have inadvertently showered their golden goodness all over my house.
these are the slap-head moments we as mothers try to log away in our mom database so as to remind us for next time of how completely stupid our children can so often make us feel!